Silence to Suffer
by Xx-DarkxXxMoon-xX
Summary: "Some people suffer in silence louder than others." - Morrie Brickman M/R SLASH


Pairing: Morgan/Reid

Warnings: abuse/rape, SLASH

Disclaimer: Don't own Criminal Minds (If I did it would just be porn anyway.)

**Silence to Suffer**

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"_Some people suffer in silence louder than others."_ – Morrie Brickman

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It's his fourth time at the cabin in as many weeks.

Despite what his teachers think, Derek learns fast. He learns that Carl doesn't ever change. He doesn't change when he places his hand obscenely high on Derek's thigh; it takes more than just his will power to stop himself from cringing. Carl's speech doesn't pause when he shoves Derek against a wall, or when he presses himself flush into him. He doesn't blink when Derek's eyes drain of life, or when Derek stops responding. Carl's smile is never sadistic; it is _genuine_. Carl is _happy_ with Derek. Carl Buford never once lets profanity slip past his lips in Derek's presence.

He's the same even when Derek is bowed over the kitchen table, knuckles white with the strain of keeping silent because he _will not encourage this_.

* * *

Derek learns to be silent.

He is silent even as Carl pushes inside of him without warning, tearing a new scar in his eager wake. He is silent even when Carl grunts and moans. He is silent as the table digs into his abdomen over and _over_ again, expelling what is left of the air in his lungs.

* * *

He learns not to breathe.

He does not gasp when Carl brushes minutely against him; does not choke when he is thrown onto the ground. He does not shake in revulsion when Carl's hands find him, stroking almost _lovingly_. He doesn't snarl in pain when his head smacks against the nightstand, or when he twists his wrist trying to stop another fall. He doesn't make noise when he cries at night; the tears streak quickly, silently down his face. He doesn't breathe as Carl moves excitedly inside of him. The edges of the room soften, and then fall away. The colors bleed together, but there is no moisture in his eyes. He doesn't breathe until Carl pulls out, and escapes into the other room to clean away the incriminating evidence.

The first breath hurts more than not breathing (he idly wonders why drowning people fight so much, life is _much_ more painful); his lungs rebel as the oxygen scorches down his throat. Even after his breathless time with Carl, he will not allow himself to wheeze, will not suck the vital air into his lungs in a greedy fashion. He takes slow, long breaths; he will not even allow himself the courtesy of hearing himself gasp anymore.

* * *

It isn't until he's nearly thirty that Derek learns how different he is from Carl Buford.

For the first time in seventeen years, he gasps as his back is shoved into a wall. He moans low, surprised, in his throat when the skinny figure scorches gently into him. He feels like laughing breathily when Spencer's frail arms wrap tightly around his neck, tugging him in. He pants harshly against Spencer's slender neck, gratified as he tilts his head to allow Derek all access. His smirking lips bite punishingly against Spencer's pulse, and he nearly loses his load right there, when Spencer arches deliciously into his questing mouth.

"Oh, God, Morgan, _yes!_" Spencer's quiet voice gasps, shaking in unadulterated lust.

Derek fuses his lips to Spencer's, nipping harshly to force another delicious noise from that fucking _incredible_ mouth. When he gets just that, Spencer's mouth opens to him, giving in completely.

When he knows he's in danger of losing control he pulls away with a pained sigh. Spencer chases his mouth wantonly, desperately fighting the separation. Derek puts only slight pressure against his throat to stop him. When Spencer opens his eyes questioningly (fearfully), Derek gasps again.

He looks beautiful.

"Fuck, Pretty Boy." He whispers, throat constricting against the oxygen that is somehow suffocating him now.

Spencer's puppy dog eyes are shining, happiness and hope floating somewhere behind his uncertainty. His tie is skewed, and several buttons are undone (_when did that happen?_). His cheeks are flushed, and his hair is indecently messy.

Dr. Spencer Reid looks utterly _debauched_.

And Derek decides that he'd like nothing more than to give him everything he'd ever wanted.

**End**

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**Thanks for reading!**

**I know this wasn't very detailed, as far as setting goes anyway. That was mostly intentional. I randomly thought this up and had to write it down.**

**Let me know what you think!**

**_- Dark Moon_**


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